Quieted

Humbled, quieted and contented in the barrenness of my body, mind and heart. Oh if you could have been in my head these last few years and then i am glad you never were. My thoughts and emotions have been so unbearably intense and raw i hope they weren't verbalised as often as i thought them. Still for those sweet few of you who did 'experience' them you must surely have seen my convulsions. Maybe i've moved on...? i dunno, but atleast the deep sadness and tears seem to have.

Maybe some of you have had 'dreams lie as rags at your feet'? (Quoted from an fav. old church chorus) Mine are. So while career and motherhood keep my feet warm, I have been loved by a handsome man and our adventures include discovering a Pretty Little House to call Home. You must visit. We have traveled a bit for weddings of both our siblings. I have discovered a meanful New Brunswick friendship, and the older i get the closer i stick to my little rule "you can count the number of GOOD friends on one hand." I am still discovering French and pilates. I used to think P. was for sissy's well guess who became one. It's helped increase my flexibility which by the way has aided us in the pursuit of my other 'meaningful' relationship ;-). Tammy, my yoga princess any suggestions? I am also discovering what JL and i like to do together... Recently someone asked me that question and i was floundering and then terrified. So right now it is walking in -20, eating out or in, and disagreeing passionately on intellectual topics, (sometimes we have to leave the restaurant!!) i wish i could see us when we are out.
And then our secret deep adventure: adoption. We officially began the process December 12, 2011. Right now it is only paper work but when the Canadian gov. Agency listed the special characteristics of children available for adoption I had to pause. It frightened me - still does. Did you know that the waiting list for infant adoption in Canada is 10 yrs? And we have many children in the system waiting for families, the average age being 9 yrs? Anyway the big thing is we have started.

Voila c'est ma vie - there, it is my life...
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"Marcella's emotions were real, but her mind seldom deserted her. One half of her was impulsive and passionate; the other half looked on and put in finishing touches." Mrs. Humphrey Ward - 'Marcella'