How odd it is to have a birthday come with the birthday person no longer on earth. Now i ask myself did i celebrate Mummy's birthdate as well as i could? i hate to remember the times i may have not called her on that day. i've never been on this earth without her. and now she's gone. i'm still baffled and surprised. i can't beleive it. This October there will be no cake for her to cut and like last year there will be no cake for Sharon's dog to pull off the table and eat the whole thing. Where did this thing called death come from anyway? who invented it? Oh Lord how final it is. the way i miss you Mummy is eternal, the pain i feel without you here drives me to headaches, and my heart hurts. This sadness is so much, it is so deep. with my heart i love you. i remember you every day. You said you were afraid to leave us because you didn't know if we would manage, Mummy i can't manage i wish you were back. God help me. i love you. i miss your voice, i want you to sing me a sad song like you always did, i want to hold you and hug you tightly and kiss your cheek and smell your pretty hair. i want to hear you breathing, i want to touch you Mummy. How do i live these days without you. 11 months since you went, how did we make it this far? each day keeps coming, they won't end. Happy birthday Mummy, God bless the day you were born.
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